 |
| Laura Jane Grace |
One woman sits in an abandoned studio
strumming gently on a guitar. She wears black clothing, her nail
polished is a little chipped, and her hair obscures her face, She
isn't singing, but these sounds emitting from her guitar provide
background for a chorus of voices that were muted in a past life.
The chorus of voices is what makes
Laura Jane Grace's True Trans a
radically important online series. The transgender narrative is
oftentimes sculpted outside of our hands. Whenever you see
documentaries about transgender people they discuss surgery in
ominous tones, they linger on childhood photos and present these
bodies as science fair projects or worse side show attractions for
those curious in seeing a before and after. It's damaging when we
can't speak for ourselves, but Grace is turning the trans documentary
on it's head and making it a celebration instead of a curiosity. Her
goal was to meet transgender and gender variant people on the road to
connect in some way, and what she has done is bring to light a true
narrative from those individuals she interviewed instead of the type
of linear transition story that usually sits underneath the
transgender documentary category.
What strikes me
personally about this show is how often these narratives intersect
with my own. I can remember the first time I ever saw a transgender
person on television, and just seeing that there were other options
was a staggeringly emotional experience. I was always too afraid to
confront those feelings head on, because of my religious upbringing
and parents who were ultimately difficult after my coming out, but I
always knew in the back of my mind that was where I would eventually
be. Our Lady J mentions at the end of episode Four that in one moment of
thought she considered what she would do if she was on a desert
island and how she would imagine herself, and she saw herself as a
Woman. This isn't entirely different from my near constant wishing I
would wake up in a body that aligned with how I saw myself.
There's also the
consideration of realization of dysphoria which I can remember
vividly in my own life. I was only three or four years old. I went to
bed like any other night, but my mind sent me off into what was
essentially an alternate version of my life. Everything was just as
mundane, and there was nothing of note in this dream except for one
small change. In this dream I was a girl. A reflection looked back at
me in a flowery dress and pigtails and I couldn't have been more
disappointed when I woke up and saw a boy staring back instead of
that girl that I knew I really was. For Grace that moment came when
she was just as young as I when she saw Madonna perform on
television. That's who she wanted to be, and she mentions the
disappointment of knowing that it wasn't quite feasible. There are
other things that link these stories like drug use, suicide attempts,
and music as an outlet, but the one unifying theme is dysphoria. Blue
(another transgender interviewee) mentions that it varies from person
to person, but in some cases it's a living hell.
 |
| Paris is Burning |
Dysphoria
is in many cases the key to all of these feelings. It's why we want
to change our bodies to align with how we see ourselves, and it is
demoralizing to see our true
selves unrepresented in mirrors every day of our lives. “It's as
important as the air your breathe” is one phrase used to describe
the necessity of having a comfortable body. The entire discussion
centered around dysphoria in episode 2 subtly deconstructs the myth
that trans healthcare is based around cosmetic procedures, and it's
all done through letting transgender people speak up about their own
lives, and in the context of the documentary I don't think it's been
handled this well since Paris is Burning,
and even then that film wasn't 100% about our lives.
True Trans isn't
as formally ambitious as that documentary either, but they share a
similar celebratory tone around their subjects as well as performance
being a key part of identity. Paris is Burning
focuses on ball culture while True Trans
shifts it's lens towards punk rock. Laura Jane Grace got into punk
rock in the first place due to it being about “smashing gender
roles”, and others discuss how glam rock punks of the 70s featured
many bands where gender roles were challenged. In essence art seems
to have opened up the doors for an older generation of transgender
people featured in this doc as an outlet. They didn't have the
internet and no one was talking about gender variant people on
television so these punk rock bands in some way slightly cracked open
the doors even if they weren't actually transgender. At least they
were questioning gender in the first place.
I
believe art has the power to shape our world views and challenge what
we see as normal. It can be a radical unseating of systematic power,,
and it can get people thinking. I also believe in the personal as
political theory. What makes True Trans
more than just a fascinating documentary on lifestyle is how those
two things intersect to make something that comes off as an important
work of art. It isn't necessarily cinematic with it's 60
minutes style talking heads
documentary style filmmaking, but it transcends it's own formal
limitations by allowing voices to be heard that were once stamped
down by a society that wouldn't listen. I go back to those days when
I watched transgender documentaries on the discovery channel when my
parents were in bed hoping to see another person like myself on
television if only for a moment. I craved that visibility because I
didn't want to be alone in this world, and it's not like I knew
anyone who was transgender. Ten years later this show is now
available for all those out there questioning or curious. Something
this celebratory is going to have a positive impact for those who
need it, and those who view it curiously not even knowing what a
transgender person is like will see our humanity. If it changes one
mind or helps out one person who really needed it then it's powerful
in all the ways art can sometimes be. I know it will help others out,
because it's already made me feel like a stronger person for having
viewed it.
No comments:
Post a Comment